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Success Myth

Posted on: March 14, 2010by Dr Kim Dr Hil

You Deserve Success

Believing you deserve success is a reflection of your self-worth which you develop very early in life. Self-worth issues are often tied to the success myth that there is not enough for everyone to have what they want. What's more, in order to get what little there is you have to work hard, be a good person and live up to an unrealistic ideal. Most people have bought into this success myth on some level. This drives competition, perfectionism and procrastination which ultimately leads to sabotaging your success.

Fear of Failing

The solution lies in the cause. Powerful beliefs combine thought and emotion. The belief that you do not deserve success is often caused by the fear of failing if you succeed. As such, if you fail you won't be good enough to receive what you want in the future (part of the myth). So what then is the point of putting out the effort in the first place. You settle for what little you do have and even hold on more tightly for fear that you could lose that as well.

Sabotaging Your Success

It is essential to recognize that what you are afraid of has more to do with your interpretation of the situation than the actual situation itself. In this instance, your perspective of your ability to succeed is the issue at hand. Although on some level you may know that you are doubting yourself and therefore sabotaging your success. Due to past conditioning and emotional denial most people tend to look at the external world believing it is the cause of their fears.
For many people simply the awareness of the success myth (that there is not enough) is enough to help them shift. You may experience a feeling of relief hearing that there REALLY is enough. No one is here to take your success. No one can fulfill your unique purpose in life. Only you can choose to courageously pursue your passions and achieve the success you deserve.

Coaching and Counseling

Hilary Stokes Ph.D. and Kim Ward Ph.D. have been a team for 20 years, specializing in mind, body, spirit psychology. They are the authors of the bestselling books The Happy Map: Your roadmap to the habit of happiness and Manifesting Mindset: The 6-step formula for attracting your goals and dreams and founders of Authenticity Associates Coaching and Counseling. They are passionate about combining the best of holistic and traditional approaches to health and happiness. If you are interested in learning the answers to the most frequently asked questions on how to decrease stress and increase happiness sign up for their free video series.

About the Authors

Hilary Stokes Phd

HIlary Stokes, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist in California with more than 25 years of clinical experience, specializing in trauma therapy, PTSD treatment, anxiety, depression, and nervous system healing. She holds Master's degrees in Clinical Social Work and Kinesiology and Sports Psychology and a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology with a specialization in Tibetan Buddhist Psychology. Dr. Stokes is extensively trained and certified in brainspotting, EMDR, somatic therapy and other mind body approaches. Her integrative work bridges neuroscience, mindfulness, and holistic psychology to help clients process unresolved trauma, rewire stress patterns, and build emotional resilience.

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Dr. Stokes’ clinical approach is informed by advanced professional training and her own healing journey from complex trauma, which shaped her commitment to therapies that go beyond traditional talk therapy. She has worked in psychiatric hospitals, addiction and PTSD treatment centers, universities, integrative medical facilities, and private practice. As co-developer of the psychology and wellness programming at Sanoviv Medical Institute, she witnessed firsthand the power of integrating mind and body for lasting transformation. Today she helps individuals heal trauma, strengthen emotional regulation and reclaim purpose through brainspotting, EMDR, somatic therapy and mindfulness interventions.

Kim Ward Phd

Kim Ward, Ph.D. holds both a masters and a doctorate in Transpersonal Psychology with a specialization in Tibetan Buddhist Psychology. She brings more than 25 years of experience in trauma recovery, Brainspotting and mind-body transformation. She is extensively trained and certified in Brainspotting, somatic therapy, and trauma-informed approaches. Dr. Ward integrates neuroscience, nervous system regulation and consciousness-based psychology to help individuals process unresolved trauma, shift limiting beliefs, and access greater emotional resilience. Her work focuses on healing at the root, beyond symptom management, through brain-body therapies that create lasting change.

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As co-developer of the psychology and wellness programs at Sanoviv Medical Institute, Dr. Ward brings a uniquely holistic perspective to trauma therapy and personal growth. Her path from corporate leadership into psychology shaped her commitment to helping clients move beyond external success toward embodied fulfillment and emotional freedom. Dr. Ward's expertise combines Brainspotting, emotional intelligence, contemplative psychology and purpose-driven coaching. Drawing from both advanced academic training and lived experience navigating complex family mental health dynamics, she supports clients in transforming stress patterns, reclaiming vitality, and aligning with authentic purpose.